Anger.

While watching FireFly Lane on Netflix, just now, I felt a swell of pain from a similar scene from my past. Then growth.. Like literally felt it. In fact, I’m still feeling it.

It’s true – it does hurt. Like physically hurts. I get it now!

Growth hurts.

Although it has me full of anxiety, it also serves as a confirmation, that I’m indeed, on the right path.

☮️

My mother.

The anger.

The resentment.

The abandonment.

The trauma.

Exasperating.😓

It’s eaten me alive for years.

I often thought I had no choice.

She hated me.

Don’t feel bad.

If I can accept that, I mean really accept it- that down deep to the bone, into your core, acknowledgement – the kind that takes years to work through – you can too.

Insert more anger here.

Only now as I sit here in my current journey of mindfulness, and finding my inner strength, I can clearly see that my anger is what was blocking our relationship.

It wasn’t hate.

It was anger.

It was the absence of love.

I was acting out my pain.

All these years carrying this heavy yolk.

I think the road just took a right turn on this, never boring road, of Freedom that I’m fortunate enough to be on.

This turn is going to hopefully show me how to process this surge of growth so I can move on to the next piece of trauma.

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